been feeling really run-down the last week or so.

probably a combination of stress over school, poor sleep/eating habits, and the fact I've been wearing an old pair of glasses with the wrong prescription for the last two weeks. At least that last one is nearly fixed, as my optometrist called and said my new glasses are ready (I broke the most recent pair, hence wearing the old ones).

Didn't help that I spent Saturday evening (which I planned to use to catch up on homework) at my grandmother's. Granted, she wasn't feeling well, and needed someone to be with her in case she needed to go to the hospital, and my parent's and uncle were all out of town, so going over there was the right thing to do. But it certainly didn't help my stress levels any.

Took the day off work to try and catch up on things, like sleep and schoolwork. Made some progress. Not as much as I'd like, but some is better than none. Feeling slightly less panic-stricken and a few more inches from a total breakdown than I was this time yesterday, so that's good. Still want to do nothing but crawl into bed and sleep, but can't. Have to go to class.

Vaguely worried that there's something more serious wrong with me, like lacking some essential vitamin, or mono or something. Probably just general exhaustion.

"Can I borrow your pants?"

The one in the books. But if you mean which actor (you obviously do) Sean Connery.

time travel makes my brain hurt. going back in time seems theoretically impossible (I know that actual scientists who understand these things better than me would argue otherwise), but even if you could, doing so would be unbelievably dangerous. What happens if you alter something in the past? A Sound of Thunder teaches us just how terrible the consequences of seemingly inane actions can be.
Going forward is something we do anyway. BUt then you end up with the problem of trying to get back. And if you can get back to the "present" you left from, you have knowledge of the future, so you'll act differently and that future may not come to pass.

I can't watch time travel movies without getting my brain all tied up in knots thinking about these things. Terminator makes absolutely zero sense if you think about the time-travel thing too much. I mean, John Connor sends his own father back in time to save his mother and avert the machine uprising... so, if he's successful, then the future he came from never exists and he never sends his father back in time so he's never born soo he can't send his father back...

ow!

Better to just stay put and avoid the chronal headaches altogether.

Does it make me a bad person that this is the first thing I thought of when I heard Whitney Houston was dead?

the ones with no words in them. I cannot sing to save my life--no rhythm, no sense of tone or pitch... me singing is something that I wouldn't want to subject anybody to.

Been feeling a little nostalgic lately. Watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the animated one, not the Jim Carey monstrosity) last night. I miss Dr. Suess. And Chuck Jones.
Just spent a week with Jess in Pittsburgh, got back Friday afternoon. She was able to take most of the week off from work, which was really nice. We saw The Muppets and the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Had Christmas early. Her cats seem to like the window shelf I bought, and Skip worked hard on destroying the rubber chicken toy I bought for him. The knit gloves I bought were a hit, so I guess my taste was right on that one. Also helped Jess get herself a new (to her) car, which will be very helpful.
Went to the 11:00 service at St. Matthew's last night. Was nice, as always. Not as many people as I've seen there in the past though. I like the new pastor, but it does feel like everything's changed over there, and that just made me even more nostalgic.

Pole dancing: Olympic sport?

Ok. I get it, and I agree. This is a serious work-out. No argument there. I can even see it becoming integrated into gymnastics. I have no idea how you would design a system to rate performances, but then I feel the same about any of the other gymnastics routines at the Olympics, too.

My real question is this: would the competitors in the US Pole-Dancing championships be barred from the Olympic as professionals?

I don't want a bunch of people staring at my formaldehyded corpse and saying "he looks so peaceful!" Which is why I intend to donate whatever bits of me are still useful to anybody who might be able to use them (what do I need with my heart/liver/kidneys/etc; I'm dead!), and then burn whatever's left. Cremation saves money on embalming and coffins and such, too. Not sure what I want done with the ashes-- probably buried, because I don't want to be sitting in an urn on a mantle forever either. And an urn takes up less space in the cemetery than a whole body, so there's more space for other people in the future. I do want a gravestone (preferably an actual headstone and not a slab sitting at ground level) so people have a place to come to and remember me. That's been comforting for me over the years as I've lost loved ones.

You can tell I've thought this through.

Feeling very much like I'm treading water these days. And getting tired quickly, hoping those shadows in the water aren't sharks.

GRad school is just requiring an awful lot out of me this semester, and I worry that I can't give it the time/attention that I need to to get the most out of what I'm paying for. ONly been a month, and I'm falling behind more every week.
Part of the problem has been my job; they just fired the guy that was hired when I went part-time to start school again. ANd are refusing to hire anyone else. So I'm left to pick up the slack and try to do a full-time job in a part-time schedule. THat would be bad enough, but the last three weeks since this happened, at least one if not both of my co-workers have been out of the office the whole time. I've been putting in 30-35 hours a week. the extra $$ is nice, but it's left me completely exhausted and zombie-like by the time I get to class and I don't want to do anything on weekends but sleep.

I honestly felt like vomiting for the entirity of my class tonight. THe stress is really that palpable. I'm planning to talk to my boss about this tomorrow; they either need to get somebody else in there or they're going to lose the one guy who actually knows how to do everything around the place. I hate to quit and be unemployed but with my parents back now I do have fewer expenses. THey've been reaqlly great to me letting me live in their basement and everything. I love them. But having them back is a stressor.

I was planning to go to Pittsburgh this weekend to see Jess and escort her to her friend's wedding. I've had to cancel because I can't afford the time away from studying. I have to get caught up and work on things this weekend. SHe is, understandably, less than happy about this. Which just stresses me out more.

I feel physically ill. as I said, felt like vomiting today. my back is killing me, both from the physicality of my job and the stress. I store stress in my neck and lower back. THis makes it hard to sleep. Which makes the stress worese. WHich makes it harder to sleep... you see how this works. I've even cancelled my standing MAcig: The Gathering game for this week so I can look up criticism/literature about Langston Hughes for a presentation I'm suposed to make next week. Also, to read articles for my folklore class. And try to find good books about the Amish and tourism for the 20 page paper I'm supposed to write for that class.

I just want to curl up in a corner and tell the world to go away. SOmewhere in all this I'm supposed to be picking 20 poets and reading all their work and critisism about them in preperation for the MFA exam this summer. SO I have some time to read all that, but it's a lot to do. ANd oh yeah, write poetry too. THat's the whole point of all this. WHen I'm supposed to have time for it I don't know. GUess I just don't get to sleep until mid-December.

in no particular order

• Dentist's Appointment Tuesday at 4:00
• Pay rent and bills
• Call animal removal company, re: the dead fox in the backyard
• Take out trash Monday night
• Chiropractor appointment Monday @ 5:30
• Take Mom to airport Monday afternoon ~3:00

I'm sure there are other things I need to add to this, which I'll do as I think of them.

• Fix headlight that mysteriously isn't working properly.
• Pick up Nova Scotia info from AAA office for Mom
• mow lawn

but if anyone's wondering what to get me for my birthday, They Might Be Giants will be at the 9:30 Club in D.C. on November 26th. I'm just sayin'.

spite penny (6:20:42 PM): ASSSSSSSSSS
spite penny (6:22:32 PM): my cats typed that

So, in the wake of the storm Wednesday night, we lost power for nearly 24 hours, which also meant no heat. That wasn't much fun. Neither was discovering a tree that fell in the backyard across our fence into the neighbors' yard. Need to call a tree service to get an estimate, then call the insurance people. Thankfully, there is little to no property damage, which verges on miraculous.